2005-10-23 - 11:31 p.m.
I never really understood what was expected of me in a relationship. I mean, the girl always seems to want something but at the same time doesn't want it because you don't do it out of pure thought. Rather they complain because they have to tell you exactly what they want.
You said that you wanted to split up for one year. That you wanted us to see other people. I can't exactly jump for joy because of that.
I don't get it. I blocked all my friends, I'm avoiding as much contact with people as possible in order to avoid getting "too close" and all I ever get is a kick in pants when you say we're not together and that we should see other people.
Then you say that I should be allowed to do it and its your fault. I can't understand any of it. I sit here wondering each time.
I do something to help get us back together and it's wrong. But you still get upset.
Argh...I just wonder if this life is worth living. What purpose is there if we only hurt each other? You said that once before. I try and I try. Each thing is always wrong. I can't get out of this hole.
